I joined my first men’s group over forty years ago. Off and on during my life they have provided a place of refuge, challenge and fellowship. A space where I can more freely allow parts of me to be present, welcomed and appreciated. This experience and my work as a manager, father, trainee counsellor and facilitator have equipped me with the resources I need to create these spaces for other men. I believe we all have a rich experience of life that we can take and give to each other. Something very special is created when men feel safe enough to share what is important to them and to offer their experience to others.

I ride a mean motorcycle! Alongside a private and a university-based psychotherapy practice, where I set up a Men’s group, I have spent the last decade shaping my working life to combine helping people with both their physical and mental wellness and development. The best things I have gotten from Men’s group work are connection, guidance, inspiration, Identity nourishment, and an appreciation for the depth and variety of life. I sometimes think that we can be in denial about our problems as men. Much like an alcoholic that doesn’t want to admit they are one. We are compelled to project confidence and capability from an early age, not to cry, to be rational. My invitation would be to explore all those parts of yourself that have been deemed unacceptable societally. To stop kidding yourself that this hasn’t taken place, and to reconnect to the sides of you which you may think are too vulnerable to show, when in fact they can be the sides of you that make others love you. As Jung said, “I’d rather be whole, than good”.

I have been in a men’s group for nearly 20 years. I have so enjoyed getting insights into the lives of other men and it has been valuable to me to get honest feedback about my own life.I have facilitated meetings for environmental groups where the culture involves ensuring that everyone is heard. I have had experience in 12 Step Fellowship of listening to people share deeply and of facilitating meetings to ensure that people feel safe enough to share.I am passionate about nature and doing my bit to help humans have the chance to live into the future. I was part of an interfaith pilgrimage from London to Glasgow for the COP 26 conference. I am also passionate about tennis where I love to lose myself the moment and about singing with others.I invite you to join the group and benefit from listening to others and generously sharing your truth with others. You may learn that you are capable of being more than you had thought.

I have been involved in men’s work since 2008, following a time of crisis. I have benefitted in many ways, principally in being accepted with little judgement  into groups of men. This has done much to increase my sense of self worth, confidence and autonomy. It’s been a struggle at times but always worthwhile.

I hear the underlying narrative that changes in society have meant  men frequently feel lacking in purpose and meaning to their lives. I feel a mensgroup can offer an opportunity to explore this fundamental challenge.

I have been a teacher for nearly 3 decades; I also facilitated courses for people with life changing illnesses, trained as a psychotherapist and also as a  craniosacral therapist. So I guess I have been around people who are open to change and challenge. 

I believe men’s work is most effective where men bring their curiosity more than their judgement, where they are open to have preconceptions challenged and where they are open to sharing key aspects of their lives. 

I’m in my 60’s, married with 2 grown sons and 3 grand children. I was born and lived in Zimbabwe until the age of 5 and then grew up on the south coast near Brighton, the eldest of 3 children. I’ve lived in Scotland with my second wife for the last 30 years. I had two sons with my first wife, both grown men now with their own families. I’ve 3 grand children. My career has spanned teaching and self employment before 11 years working in Diageo and PriceWaterHouseCoopers. I’ve run my own Organisation & Leadership Development consultancy for the last 20 years and am still working – albeit at a gentler pace these days. My wife and I spent 9 years working together as creative couples workers with couples in relationship crisis. I’m a trained mens group facilitator and have joined this group to enable us to launch mens groups where men can learn to meet each other and themselves. In a world of polarising forces I feel it is now more important than ever to work on building relationship and connection. In this guise with these men we are on that journey.

I’m passionate about working with relationships, to look into and uncover the locked patterns and dynamics in intimate relationships, and help people become more conscious of themselves. That goal will of course include myself and my own relationship.

My skills for doing group work with men is:
– Psychotherapy training and 15 years of practicing psychotherapy and working with couples.
– Training in group therapy and several years of practicing as group therapist.
– Training in facilitating men’s groups, and more the two years’ experience in facilitating different men’s groups and giving workshops for men.

Participating in a men’s group and doing “menswork” gives me the experience of being with my own tribe and feeling the sameness with others. I can also experience receiving acceptance and understanding when I share my challenges, and that can help me to become more open with my feelings.

Opening invitation in a group:
To be bold and bring yourself and your issues into the group and be open to the process it kicks of. To get flour you have to bring your grain to the mill.